It’s been one year.
One year since you held me in your arms and kissed me one last time as your girlfriend. The ride without you has been a roller coaster going through heaven and hell at an unpredictable speed. I realize that life continues to go on for you and I, and for you things seem a bit sunnier where you are. That’s great, I’m so happy for you. I wasn’t the best but you were the best and therefore you deserve nothing but that. For me, it’s like sometimes you think the pain is gone for good. It is gone, somewhat, as it has faded to this subtle yet demanding feeling of simple sadness. I wanted to believe that you can get over your first love. I wanted to believe it so bad. But it’s been a year since we’ve talked and to be honest, some days you are still the most prominent thought in my head. i’ve been dating someone, and i can’t help but think about how he doesn’t treat me like you do and today i cried for the first time in forever because of the simple fact that i’ve never felt the same way for anyone as i did for you. the guilt still eats me alive. I wish I showed you how much I love you when I had the chance. to tel you the truth it hurts to see that you’ve moved on so fast. the love we shared is so significant and so valuable to me that it is crazy to think you’ve found it again so quickly with someone else. I don’t even know what im writing anymore god I just miss you so bad. you were my best friend, my lover, my everything. I wish I could talk to you, hear your voice one last time, feel the warmth of your breath against my skin one last time. maybe, I still can’t believe you are gone. and all the memories we shared have become so insignificant to you. I hope you are doing well and I hope she is making you happy the way I know you deserve and the way I know I couldn’t make you. I love you, always