3 years later

3 years later

3 years later


I used to question when people said that love and hate are 2 sides of the same coin. Now, I realize what they mean. I hate the utter shock I felt when I was blindsided by you that Sunday evening. I hate the feeling of being betrayed. I hate the way you coldly and immediately celebrated your new life without me, and the way you almost instantly re-married. I hate the 3 years I’ve had of daily reminders of the amazing memories we shared, and the nightly dreams of us laughing and loving. I hate how I was torn from your family and friends. I hate the rumours I heard about you calling me white trash and falsely accusing me of cheating. I hate that you didn’t want to give me a chance to find the man you married and rescue him from his mental illness. I hate living in our forever house, alone. I hate missing Puma and Colby. I hate breaking the hearts of women who just aren’t you, who are my “rebounds”. I hate occasionally seeing you on social media, especially with your new husband. I hate myself for failing as a husband. I hate feeling the pressure of time and age, wondering if I’ll ever have the family I’ve wanted since I was a young man. I hate that after 3 years, I’m still not over you. And yet, I love you. I love your spirit. I love your family. I love the memories. I want to throw this double-sided coin into a well and wish we could start all over again as two bright-eyed lovers working at Safeway. I will always love you.


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