I think deep down, i knew, i knew it would be the last time i would see your face.
the pain i felt getting on to that plane the tears i cried for hours were so real and so so sore.
i havent had time to grieve, i havent had time to properly say goodbye, i moved on so fast and everything changed so so quickly, my life without you is so simple and happy.
but the guilt, the pain of being the person that broke your heart will forever hurt.
i have apologised a thousand times, but i know i know nothing i say will make things right for you..
the smallest things remind me of you, they bring back wonderful memories but i just feel sad, i do not want you back, i dont love you in that way any more, i will always care for you.
But i cant,i cant get rid of this pain, im sorry im sorry i couldnt cope with the distance im sorry i had to put myself first.
i remember the day i told you, i was on my bathroom floor crying, i was sick then i just kept crying, you can never understand the terrible feeling of being the person that has to make that final decision. i felt like someone was ripping my heart out of my chest, if i closed my eyes i could see my heart spliiting in two, blood pouring all over and just drowning me.
I guess i am hoping that wrighting this letter will help the pain go away, so i can carry on with my happy life without this guilt and pain hanging over my shoulders. i just want to stop crying, and forget about you.