It’s been almost a year since we broke up and I’m sitting here thinking about you… I don’t think I’ll ever have the nerve to send this to you because I’m afraid of embarrassment, and that you’ll think I’m doing this for attention, but it’s nothing like that…

Everyday I still think about why, how, and what we could have done differently, and I still wish that we could have been friends after. I will never stop loving you and the life we had envisioned for ourselves. I know I hurt you badly and it wasn’t my intention at all, I wanted to grow old with you, I wanted us to be forever, I know a lot of people say this but i mean it, if I could go back in time and do everything differently I would take back every bad memory.

ik that one day when you find someone else it’s gonna hurt and ik it’s gonna happen, but there are things i can do and things I can’t do, and I’m not sad about it because ik that someone else will give you something I couldn’t, I just want you to be happy, I never in my entire life felt any type of way about someone like I did with you, You completed me in ways no one else could have…

Regardless of the tears I’ve shed, how you’ve hurt me, how you gave up so easily, the negative things my friends said about you, our ups and downs, and the numerous times I have questioned if it was all worth it, I still loved you through it all. I made you feel bad, and showed you someone who wasn’t me. I showed you someone who was weak, who let their nerves and anxiety get the best of her. And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I ruined everything we could’ve had, i hate that we ended things on bad terms, and I hate that well see each other at school and just act like we don’t know each other, but it hurts honestly… from being so close to someone one day, to becoming strangers the next… i can’t see myself having a future without you. I just hope we can still be friends…