Dearest Lisa,

Let’s say I had a time machine and I could go back in time ten years to this day, March 7, 2009. The very next day, you would be getting on a plane to cross the ocean to come see me; I would be driving north to our rendezvous. But, if current me could go back in time and talk to 10 years ago me, what should I say on the eve of our planned time together? Should I tell past me to scrap the whole idea; knowing the pain and turmoil that was to result from our meeting? I know you would have been upset and probably lashed out, but would it have been worse than what we’ve been through? To cancel the get-together would have been the noble, honorable, ethical thing to do.

Or, should I have told past me to go ahead with our illicit meeting? If so, I would have told past me to hold you a little longer, kiss you more, and enjoy each and every second we lay together. I could have told past me how much I would come to miss being with you, as your lover. I would emphasize lingering on every word you spoke; taking in each syllable in that intoxicating accent of yours. And, I would have told past me to look into those brilliant, dazzling eyes of yours and tell you how much I love you.

A time machine and two paths- which to choose? I think the latter. Here’s why: there will always be pain, turmoil, disappointment, and disagreement in my life. But, there’s very little passion, desire, intimacy, and love in my life. It would be worth the trip in the time machine to stress to past me the necessity of being with you in March, 2010.