Dear M,

It’s been 16 days since you broke up with me, and 23 days since you proposed to me.

I tried to move on with my life and forget about it all, I tried to remain as active as humanly possible, I moved places, went out to parties, I even took flying classes and flew a damn plane !

My life has always been awesome, I’ve always been a happy and grateful person, but I’ve never felt whole. When we first met, I really thought this was it, you were the one.

I fell immediately in love with you the first time I saw you, I wish I were making this up but I’m not. Love at first glance exists.

You’re not the cutest, the hottest or the smartest girl I’ve been with, but you sure are the one I fell for. Love doesn’t always make sense, and although you’ve always knew I was out of your league, you ended up being the one dumping me. Funny how life goes.

Our relationship was stained with ugly fights about petty stuff, your anger issues took a toll on the both of us, but the worst part is that you don’t know how much growth I’ve known in the past couple of weeks.

I always thought you were the problem, that you used to get carried away for nothing, and I literally just realized I was actually playing a huge part in it.

I wasn’t myself, I became someone else because of everything we’ve been through, but I never gave up on you, on us. I wanted it to work out, I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you.

You texted me last night, and I don’t know what to do with those mixed signals. You said you couldn’t just leave me alone cause it’s “scary” to leave just like that, you said you may never forgive yourself and become a nun.

I wish you could just tell me you still love me, that you’d like to give us a last shot at happiness and that you’d like to talk about what went on between us, but you’re not even 25, you’re not that mature, you don’t know what you want from me.

You’re testing the waters for now, and I don’t want to push you away although I feel like it’s not helping me move on.

Once more, I’m putting myself at risk of another heartbreak, I’m putting myself out there just so you can be happy and move on.

You may not know it but you keep texting me to feed your ego and feel better about yourself, and I don’t hold it against you, you’re just human.

I still pray that you may come back to me someday, that you may tell me that it was a huge mistake and that we can work this out, and I’ll be here, working on myself till that day comes.

I won’t give up on you like most men before me, including your father and your brother, have. I still believe we’re meant for each other, and I still pray someday you’ll be as sure as I am.

Looking forward to hearing from you again,

T.