The little lovelies

The little lovelies

The little lovelies


It was the little lovelies that brought me back to you, 3 months after the heartbreak.

Smothering you with kisses, stroking your hair as you rest your head on my chest, holding your hand and caressing my fingers over yours.
The hours of intellectual conversations, the way you understood the way I looked at life, the way you listened.
The way your eyes looked into mine when we were face to face, the infectious hysteria of your laugh, your hands, your lips, your smile.
Your complete devotion to me, the future you had planned for us, the love story you loved to love.

But it was the harsh realities that set me free from you, 1 month after crawling back.
You only ever speak about yourself and the beliefs you hold onto with ignorance and aggression.
Always trying to change me to be your idea of better, something that I don’t want to be.
You don’t respect me as a separate person from yourself – I belong to you and to disagree with you is to disrespect you.
You look at the world and everyone in it through hateful eyes, and nothing will ever be enough for you.
Destruction and pain will follow you everywhere you go in life, and you will continue to hurt anyone who displeases you.

But it’s those little lovelies that I will remember when I look back on our love. When I look back on the heartbreak you put me through and the emptiness that I felt and how deeply I ached with missing you.
Because they were so lovely, and we were so in love, and I loved loving you with everything that I had.
But it’s time to face the light and move forward, for you are not the man for me.

I wish you every happiness in the world, and hope the next person you fall in love with genuinely loves you to the core of who you are, and doesn’t sit alone wishing to unlove you the way I did.

– Jen


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