I am sorry

I am sorry

I am sorry

LTME-post

I remember the first time we met, it plays over and over in my head, how we got attached to fast..the feeling of feeling safe, wanted and loved, the natural high of happiness and feeling compete, ur voice ur touch and presence filled that hole in my heart that I longed to be full. u brought so much joy into existence, it filled my scares and it accepted me for my past and mistakes. It calmed me it kept me safe and happy, it gave me hope. I was treated like a king. I’m so fucking sorry I don’t know where to start, and no matter what I say I don’t feel it’s good enough for u. u deserve the world and as much as I want to it’s not possible for me, u deserve so much better. Not an hour goes by that u are not on my mind. From the time I put my head down to rest and wake in the morning, u have been the first and last on my mind. I deserve everything, every last word, and all the resentment. I want you to know everything I’ve done and said was true, it came from my heart. I wanted everything with u. I wanted to be the person u deserved, the person that would never leave and be by your side. I’d walk through hell for u. Instead, my past caught up and what little I had, I lost all because of fear of losing. But what I lost was much greater, I lost my heart my rib my other half, my happiness and my pride and joy, if God would allow me to, I’d do anything and everything to try and get u back. Again I’m so scared of losing, maybe it’s something I never truly had, but it all hurts and I have been living with regret ever since the last words u wrote. I truly ly and I have very strong feelings for u, and that isn’t going to change anytime soon. I wish I could tell u how sorry I miss u sooo much. I’m sorry and now Im living trying to forgive myself but regretting what I lost. There is so much more I want to say but it will never own up to the fact of my actions. u r and will always be in my heart forever and I hope and pray one day I’ll have the chance to make more amazing memories together again. I miss u with all my heart and soul. I’m sorry for all the damage I’ve caused.
Being truthful I accept the fact that we are no longer anything anymore. I miss u terribly but the amount of times I’ve spammed you because you ignore every message, I think has made it worse. It’s only because I miss u though. I take the blame for everything, the times we argued I was way too sensitive and got mad at u. I want you back. And me ‘needing time’ took longer than I thought. So long actually that u got bored, and u left. I forgive u with everything now, months have passed and I sit here listening to songs crying my eyes out about u, kinda
I remember the first time we met, it plays over and over in my head, how we got attached to fast..the feeling of feeling safe, wanted and loved, the natural high of happiness and feeling compete, ur voice ur touch and presence filled that hole in my heart that I longed to be full. u brought so much joy into existence, it filled my scares and it accepted me for my past and mistakes. It calmed me it kept me safe and happy, it gave me hope. I was treated like a king. I’m so fucking sorry I don’t know where to start, and no matter what I say I don’t feel it’s good enough for u. u deserve the world and as much as I want to it’s not possible for me, u deserve so much better. Not an hour goes by that u are not on my mind. From the time I put my head down to rest and wake in the morning, u have been the first and last on my mind. I deserve everything, every last word, and all the resentment. I want you to know everything I’ve done and said was true, it came from my heart. I wanted everything with u. I wanted to be the person u deserved, the person that would never leave and be by your side. I’d walk through hell for u. Instead, my past caught up and what little I had, I lost all because of fear of losing. But what I lost was much greater, I lost my heart my rib my other half, my happiness and my pride and joy, if God would allow me to, I’d do anything and everything to try and get u back. Again I’m so scared of losing, maybe it’s something I never truly had, but it all hurts and I have been living with regret ever since the last words u wrote. I truly ly and I have very strong feelings for u, and that isn’t going to change anytime soon. I wish I could tell u how sorry I miss u sooo much. I’m sorry and now Im living trying to forgive myself but regretting what I lost. There is so much more I want to say but it will never own up to the fact of my actions. u r and will always be in my heart forever and I hope and pray one day I’ll have the chance to make more amazing memories together again. I miss u with all my heart and soul. I’m sorry for all the damage I’ve caused.
Being truthful I accept the fact that we are no longer anything anymore. I miss u terribly but the amount of times I’ve spammed you because you ignore every message, I think has made it worse. It’s only because I miss u though. I take the blame for everything, the times we argued I was way too sensitive and got mad at u. I want you back. And me ‘needing time’ took longer than I thought. So long actually that u got bored, and u left. I forgive u with everything now, months have passed and I sit here listening to songs crying my eyes out about u, kinda pathetic huh? But honestly, I miss u more than ever, it hurts…. I’ve never stopped loving you…..

1 Comment

  1. Stephanie Dickens 2 months ago

    Maybe s/he feels the same

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