Dear S,
You were my first real love. And therefore I think I’ll never be able to forget you. Or all the time we spent together, the memories we made, the love we shared. You showed me what love was. But our story ended so abruptly, so sudden. I never got the chance to ask you why you did what you did. I am still left with all the questions, I keep on wondering about it all. I know without doubt that you did love me though, I saw it in your eyes and the way you acted. You can try to deny it but remember I can still read your emotions? No matter how madly you try to hide them from the world, I’ll always was able to read them. I can, still.

Whenever I see you, I can see you’re struggling. I know you’re used to fighting your battles alone, so I am grateful that you once let me in. You once mentioned that you couldn’t believe how well I understood you, even though you never told me anything. I don’t know why either, but I think it’s because I care deeply about you. I still do, and I think that’s why I’ll always be here if you need me. I’m happy to see you’re doing better at the moment, and I hope it’s because you, too, have moved on. It’s better that way. I mean, if I could go back in time, I know I would in a second. But we weren’t meant to be, we don’t match on the long run. We’re too different persons for that. But it was nice to think that, for a moment, it was gonna last. Yet fate had other plans for us, and that’s okay.

I know that we were put together to show both of us what love is like, nothing more than that. And although you have hurt me really bad, I could never hate you. There is only one thing I hate about our story: the way it ended. And more over, the lack of closure. But no, I don’t hate you. Even though everyone thinks I’m crazy for not hating you, I really don’t. It did upset me, but I never full on hated you. Maybe a brief moment, when you had physically hurt me so badly I got a bruise that lasted a week. That was also the day we broke up. I always knew your mental illness fucked up your way of acting, and I think that why you acted like that. But I do know that that moment it was done. I knew right there and then that we were over. I always have a feeling in my gut when something is about to happen, and that moment I knew we would break up. Yet I still didn’t hate you, I never could. We ended on bad terms, but our story will always be a favourite. Always. And I think I’ll always love you, but not the romantic type love. More the caring love, you know? I’ll always care deeply about you, how you’re doing. But I don’t love love you anymore. And I know by being able to say this, Ive moven on. Our paths were meant to cross, but we don’t share the same fate. And that’s okay. 

Love, your ex-girlfriend