I miss you so much it hurts. I miss looking forward to talking to you. Some days I miss you so much i go through all the messages you wrote me, and it makes me smile, but then I wake up in the morning realise you’re not here anymore, and I get sad again. To hear i was your world, always made me feel special. You were not ashamed of me and you would remind me you loved me everyday. I’ve tried to convince myself i don’t want you anymore, but I just can’t let go. I don’t want to see you move on, but I’m not doing much about it either.

I wish we could go back in time, give us both a real chance at happiness. I miss you, I think of you everyday, your smile, your laugh, your sense of humor, and your face. I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you all the time, that I talked too much about me. know that I’m trying to be a better person and solve my issues, although I find myself being angry sometimes. I hope you’re ok and that you’re happy without me, I miss you. i hate this. i fucking hate it. hatehatehatehatehate it. I want to see you so bad but i just don’t know how.

I’m so fucking done and i don’t want to give up but its hard, sometimes i want to stop this pain but then i remember that i could never do that to you, to me, because with you i feel happy and free. I can be myself and talk and talk and talk without getting bored. We are hurting each other but I’m in for the pain. A little pain never scared me. I’m so sorry for being this way.. that’s why I will never bother you again. I will let you live your life. I will wish and pray every day that you find the person you belong with. Your hand is not mine to hold anymore and it’s breaking my heart. Even more so because I know it’s my fault. 100%. not the age gap, not my parents that hated you, not my other problems, they were convenient excuses I used for being this way. Truth is I was just an insecure, scared and confused girl. I still love you. but I know you deserve better than this. I love you, Quinn.