I know that you will never see this. But today has been the hardest day of my life without you. Today things changed between us, and it’s heartbreaking. We held such a strong bond between each other for 3 years. You were my best friend. You were there for me through everything. From my sister passing away, to me moving, to losing my job. But in the beginning we knew our relationship wasn’t going to be easy. We were both in previous relationships. And we were 600 miles apart. I stood by you through every up and down, lies, and you cheating on me and getting her pregnant. I still stood there willing to make this work.

But one day you lied to me about going to visit your brother in Texas. When in reality you stayed with her parents. And then the very next day you left me when you got home. I begged you to pick up your phone to just talk to me. But you couldn’t. I had lost everything that day. You blocked me from everything. Changed your number. You deleted me as if I didn’t even exist in your life. 3 years you were all I knew. But I eventually picked up my life and started to get better.

Then at the end of 2019 you came back into my life. To only just destroy me again. Everything was fine for a little while. You regretted leaving. But you were in a relationship. And by this time so was I. We played it off for awhile that we were happy. But we knew deep down that wasn’t the case. So you started flirting and I did a little back. But knew deep in my heart it was so wrong. I tried to set up boundaries for us to just be friends. And you weren’t having that. We fought everyday. And then eventually you told me that I basically didn’t deserve you. And that broke my heart. I know I wasn’t the easiest person to love. But to say that truly broke my heart.

From that point forward I knew that it wasn’t going to work. And I had to leave. So I sit here at 1:03am in my bathroom writing this pathetic letter to my ex. Knowing that you’ll never see this, but wanting to just get it out of my head. I have a great man who adores me and my kids. Works hard to provide for our family. But I can’t seem to make my heart forget about you. And it truly sucks. I wish you nothing but the best in life. And all the happiness in the world. Maybe one day down the road we can be best friends again. But until then I’ll keep praying for you. 

Love Always,
The one who didn’t deserve you.