I know we’ll never see each other again. So what’s the point in writing this. Well, I miss you. I miss you everyday. I know it’s not been too long, and that it will get better in time. But I don’t want it to get better. I don’t want you to forget, for me to forget. You said we were soulmates. Well I get what you mean by that, you were my best friend, you complemented me like no one I’ve ever met before. You were like the male version of me, there was something of me in you. But I ended it. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry for hurting you. I’ve hurt myself as well. But the truth was, I had to end it, I had to end it for my own sanity.

You didn’t realise, but I felt like the responsible adult in the relationship. You’d be angry by me saying that and disagree, but I did feel about 10 years older than you sometimes. You’re so calm and chilled out, and carefree. You love drinking till late and I know you tell me you’ve quit now but while we were together you were always smoking weed. Basically everyday I knew you, and I knew you a long time. I just couldn’t take it anymore, it was impacting the rest of my life. I need early nights and early mornings and healthy runs and less drink, you would’ve thought that so boring.

I think in that way our lifestyles were just too different for us to work, but I honestly don’t think I’ll ever forget you. You were such a special person in my life. And to think that I never ever get to speak or talk to you again hurts like hell. So in my head I talk to you, in this letter I do too.
I wish you every happiness in your future, I really do. Because I put you through a lot and I’ve hurt you in ways I never thought I could hurt anyone. I’m sorry for everything, and I hope you lead an amazing and wonderful life and travel and start the family you wanted and all those other things you always talked about
Love forever, your best mate rachie xxxx