Dear S, 

For the last 3 weeks I have been crying, thinking and crying. Our song has also been popping up everywhere and it is killing me, I have been thinking about how happy I have been for the last couple of months with you, you came in quick and also left quick. I have been replaying our breakup on repeat every single day, and been annoyed at myself over stuff that I should have said and shouldn´t have said. I have also been trying to figure out what I could have done differently for not making you lose feelings for me. I have also been hoping for us to get back together, that you would realize that you still have feelings for me and that you were just confused and that you made a huge mistake, but I can not continue with this false hope, that´s why I am writing this letter. 

I have not been able to eat properly the last couple of weeks, in 4 days it is exactly one month since we broke up. I know I told you not to text me, but every single day I have been hoping to get a text from you and I have wanted to text you every single day, but I keep reminding myself that if you wanted to talk to me you would. I don´t know if you have been trying to make me jealous with all of these things you have been doing lately or you simply have moved on, but I forgive you either way. I have to, to be able to move on. 

I want to thank you S, for showing me what true love is like and how I deserve to be treated. I will never settle for anything less ever again, thank you for showing me that, I had almost given up. This is the most magical relationship I have ever had, and I have also realized that you are supposed to be with someone that is also your best friend, that´s probably why it so hard to let you go, I am also losing my best friend. I think it´s very hard to imagine that you and I are going to have this connection with someone else, because as we both stated when we broke up, none of us have ever felt like this before. 

I have so many questions I want to ask you, I have so much I want to show you and say to you, but I have to realize that you are not in my life anymore. Even though we don´t talk anymore I still feel a connection to you. You have been visiting me in my dreams and this is making it even harder to let you go, when I am sleeping its the only break I get from not thinking about you. I wonder if you think about me as much as I do, but I have no other choice than to think that you don´t, I can´t move on if not. I read this quote and it made so much sense; ” I am scared to move on because that means I accept our fate as strangers, and I would rather be heartbroken than to forget about you”. 

I remember when we went to your cabin, the car ride on the way there, we would share music with each other and we found “our” song and I just remember thinking I am the happiest girl in the world right now. I have never felt more wanted or loved by a guy ever before. When I went to America and you would call me every single day and tell me how beautiful I looked and stating your love to me. I miss you so much, S. When people asked me how you were as a person, I would just answer he is me in a guy version. I have never experienced such an intense and safe love before. I feel so bad for taking our time with each other for granted if I only knew how short our journey would be. I would do anything to experience it one more time. Just one hour, just 10 minutes. I just want to experience us one last time. We thought we would be with each other forever and it breaks my heart that both of us thought that and look at us now. It´s hard for me to understand how such a short love made such a huge impact on me, but you really broke my heart in a million pieces. 

I hope one day we meet each other again S, hug each other and laugh, as more healed souls, and maybe we will find back to each other, either as best friends or lifetime partners. 

It´s very hard for me to let you go, but I have to. I can´t go around hoping for you to come back and I can´t think about you all the time. Just know, that this is one of the hardest things I have ever done. 

I will always love you and care for you, and I will never forget about the beautiful time I had with you. 

Love you, worlds most beautiful S.

-H