Dear SM, 
I wish things worked out between us. You helped me through a lot and I did the same for you. Some days I miss you and other days I don’t. Today, I do.

Yes, I am in a relationship, currently, but it’s just not the same. I broke up with you because you couldn’t control yourself with drugs and I hated feeling like a babysitter more than your girlfriend. I left you for someone I told you not to worry about. My current boyfriend only cares more about himself than me. I tell him about my anxiety and depression and how sensitive I can be. He makes it worse. He yells at me and can be mean to me. I wish I never fallen for him. I wish I still had you.

Yes, you lied and yes you did things that hurt me, but you did truly love me. You took me out on dates, you gave me a rose every time you came over, you made sure I was okay every time I had a melt down, and you always stayed on the phone with me every time I had an anxiety attack at night. You’re even still there for me til’ this day.

I want you to move on. I want you to forget every memory you made with me, I want you to have a beautiful girlfriend who would never leave you for someone else, I want you to pamper her like you did with me, I want you to love every inch of her, and last I want you to be happy with her. I did love you. I loved you so so much that I didn’t care what other people thought about us. We were happy, I hope we were. I let it all go once I hung out with the guy I told you not to worry about, and I’m so so sorry. You were my everything. You were good to me. Sometimes I think I’m the toxic one in the relationship. I don’t mean to do anything wrong and I feel horrible with everything I do. I just want to go back to where it all began, I want to go back to the start with you. I miss you, and I loved you. Never forget that.