It’s hard to move on when you’re all I think about. It’s hard to move on when I imagined a future with you. It’s hard to move on when I built my life around you. I held on while you let go. I held on while shit was hard. I held on. You didn’t.

The fact, I force myself to smile every morning and breakdown every night. Why’d you have to do that to me? If you saw shit was falling apart in November or shit wasn’t the same afterward then maybe just fucking maybe you would at least fucking try like I fucking did. I flew back and forth to fucking see. I fucking spent every fucking second with you. But no. I’m not good enough apparently. I’m not pretty enough.

Yeah I was mentally unstable but fuck you could’ve at least tried. You meant the entire fucking world to me. But I kicked to the curb while you fell for someone else.. You don’t know the pain I have to go through because of YOU…DYANI. You don’t know heartache I have to fucking deal with every fucking night. You never cared. You never loved me. I meant nothing to you.

I try to recover from everything but how can I when I am pretty much distracting myself to get you out of my head. You want to know real pain?? You want to experience you emotional pain? Look me in the eyes and listen to the pain in my voice. I gave you all the time in the fucking world. I gave you everything…. Thank you for the pain. Thank you for the heartache. I don’t wish  you the best and I hope you mature enough to realize the shit you did. I know I did.