I didn’t think I could fall so damn hard for someone that I was never really with. You are a light in this world that is full of darkness, despite everything you have gone through. I see you. I think I know you better than I know myself. I know just by looking at the state of your hair whether you’re having a good or bad day. I know your darkest thoughts. I know how hard you can love someone, even when they don’t deserve it. I know how much you care. I think we would have been very happy together. However, that seems to be a path that you choose not to take.

Saying goodbye to you will probably be one of the hardest things I will ever have to do. Thank you for showing me what I do deserve. For showing me that I am indeed worth it. You are my first thought when I wake up in the mornings, and the last thing I dream at night. I am yours. I burn for you, but apparently you do not burn for me. At least not enough to stay.

I wish things were different. Truly. I want to beg you to stay. I want to be something more. I want to fall asleep in your arms at night. I want to wake you up in bed with breakfast every morning. I imagine a life together, which is why this is so painful. But. I’m angry at you. For making me fall so damn hard for you. For deciding to be apart of my life and then leaving it just when I begin accepting your love. Just when I realize what I want. What I desire. What I’ve been looking for my whole life. 

This is my goodbye letter to you. I am letting you go. I’ll accept whatever happens no matter how heartbroken I’ll be. I let go of my claim on you. I hope you live a fulfilling life. I hope you find someone that makes you as happy as you make me. I hope they are everything you’ve ever wanted. Because you deserve a big, wonderful, love. You will always hold a place in my heart. I am truly sorry that things weren’t different. Goodbye