I still think about you sometimes, I wish that I didn’t, but I do. I have moved on, I am happily married, I got a college degree, and finally feel like I have my life somewhat figured out. There are days, weeks, hell sometimes even months where I don’t think of you. But then you will randomly pop into my head, I’ll try to look at your pictures on Facebook or your old modelling profile.

I still feel confused about what happened, and a part of me just wants to know that you’re ok. Things were definitely bad towards the end, even before you left we couldn’t stand to be in the same room with each other. After it ended I spent a lot of time looking at why it ended. When I went through old texts and emails I felt horrible seeing some of the things that I said to you. You deserved to be treated better than that.

I hope you went back to school, and got your masters degree in microbiology like you always wanted to. I really hope you didn’t fall back into drugs. Most of all I just hope you’re happy, your are such an amazing person you deserved to be happy.

Every time I go to Olive Garden I still mix up the salad the way you used to, and I set the two peppers aside, there isn’t anyone to eat them anymore. I still say buddy and hmmm like you did, I can’t even help it lol, I just comes out that way.

I know I am most likely blasting this out to the dark corners of the internet, never to be seen by its intended recipient. It feels good to just get it out though. If you ever do find this and are not sure if it is for you – the first thing I said to you when I got back from Iraq was your car smells like a strip club. And some how you didn’t leave me at the airport lol.