7 years to waste

7 years to waste

7 years to waste

If this will ever be found, the right person will know. It’s always like that, y’know.

First of all, I hope you liked that last present of mine.

Second of all, your ‘apologies’ will never be accepted. You know that. You have to work with a problem, not feel sorry for that.

We met in some stupid game long dead, over 7 years at the moment. Friendship always grows stronger in people. And your promises both build it all up – all my love and admiration, and then broke it.

“The more you love, the more you hate.” – that’s it. As I loved you, now I started to feel extreme contempt for you.
You are a liar, paranoid coward, and a child. There’ll be the time when you’ll finally grow up, but not now. For real, I’m worried about your future. Sorry to break it to you, but it’s you who was my problem, your passive narcissistic abuse with one-sided dedication & priorities, and this silent treatment hold me in a depressed state for 1,5 years!! That’s just insane. I thought that I was a burden when you just keep feeding me with your promises, gaslighting me, obscuring my view of self.
Here it is. Promises – if you can’t keep it all alive, DO NOT tell anything. You screwed up so much that you preferred to just run away asap.

Then I gave you the choice of choosing a no-contact period to WORK on yourself, not just wait for it. And then, when a month passed, you screwed up your own deadline, showing how incompetent you are. That showed me another funny thing – you never cared and never loved me. How blind I was for telling the opposite.

Obviously, I didn’t expect you to come back right now, you got ‘things to do’. You got friends to ruing your life with. 

I thought to myself – we’re going to be happy, living together. That I will protect your ducking sensitive self from all problems in this world. That we are always was there for one another, even ‘in the past lives’. It’s all lies. You can’t love anyone, you are always running away, you are avoidant and despicable. I hope you will seek professional help at last, as it clear to me that your household and friend group heavily influenced you with their thoughts on me. I can’t believe that it was completely your choice, you always weren’t able to speak for yourself in person.

And however I’m done for now, I admit that I’ll take you if it’ll be your choice. I know that you dismissing the thought of trying again. You are lying even to yourself. 

I hope that years will pass and you’ll finally accept that it’s you who was wrong. I don’t want anyone in my life anymore. And you just don’t deserve it with your obnoxious behavior for now. 

Goodbye.

2 Comments

  1. Daniel 4 months ago

    Ouch.
    We continue to hurt one another despite swearing neither cares for the other.
    Can we get real for once?
    I’m there, same place, same time. Seven years, missed only a handful of days in all that time. I’m either insane or we have unfinished business.

    You decide.

  2. Dana 2 weeks ago

    It’s like it was written for me. I feel better that I wasted 3 years with this man and not 7 years.

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