My dear poodle boy

My dear poodle boy

My dear poodle boy

Dear poodle,
It’s me.

Please forgive my silence, forgive me of not leaving any back doors to you this time and forgive me that finally I decide to completely cut you off and let you completely go out of my life. My dear boy, today I set you free and please let me go, I really mean that. 

It has been two months since that night you broke my heart and I still stick around just because you want to keep in touch even just like friends, even that I’ve known everything had already over on Valentine’s Day, you keep saying ‘be friends’ which is like a curse trapping me and you know that I won’t say no if you say so, right? Think that I really really fancy you so I always came back in the end even you broke my heart again and again, how can I just leave my poodle alone? how can I cruelly leave you crying for our memories alone? how can I make you feel sad? I cried for myself at nights for weeks rewinding every words you said to me, every place we’ve been together, hoping that you could come back and tell me ‘I’m just kidding.’ I wish you were still here.You think being friends is better than being partners but for most people they only have one partner but many friends at one period, however, I don’t want to be your normal many but the special one. You think you care about me so you want to keep in touch and be my friend, I’m still into you so every time you talk to me giving me the unrealistic hope which cages me all the time. The slight air from your mouth can cause a strong hurricane in my world.

You said that you learn so much from me when we were together, if that is mean to be, I’m giving you the very last lesson, sometimes holding on means selfish and childish and letting go doesn’t mean cold and ruthless, it means that my heart still beats for you but I’m trying to pick up the pieces of my broken heart, move on and heal myself, cutting off doesn’t mean ‘I hate you’, it means ‘I want to love myself’. So please don’t say caring about me and still texting me with your meaningless ‘how you been’, please don’t say how hard you’ve also gone through and show your empathy, because I’m not the one who fucking left! I used to say that I’ll always save your ass when you are in trouble, sorry this time I take my words back. This time my boy, this bird is too tired to be around and doesn’t want to be self-caged anymore.

Poodle, if you are unable to let me go, I’ll cut you off and set you free to save myself from this toxic love because I need to learn to love myself by putting myself at the first because I deserve someone who truly cares about me. Thank you for the memories even some bring pain and thank you for brightening up my life with the sweet sound of your laughter. I always like your beautiful wavy hair, like your passion for music, like the way you smile, the way you say my name, the way you stare me in your eyes. I still believe that we have some telepathy in some ways, just like we’ve known each other for quite long when we first met, but this is probably the end of our story and this is for the best. Hope you can find someone singing with you, chatting with you until early dawn and holding your hands tight as long. Hope you can have road trips and camping with someone when your ankle feels better, hope you can see the wonderful Milky Way and meteor showers someday, hope you can find the person you’ve always dreamed of and live happily. Go ahead my boy, my poodle, and never look back.

Your birdo


Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.