Dear beloved Mar,

This is it, it is indeed the final one. I am still spellbound, still cannot believe it is real. Bloody borderline adaptations, and fuck that asshole.eho.convinced your parents to join a cult when you were still growing up… You did not have the proper examples… And so the rest of your life is ruined. And so… Is any possibility of an ‘us’. 

Damn I tried to make it work. I worked so hard on my own issues. And yet… It was not enough. It could never be enough because I was rowing so hard to the sound of your drum but… When I pointed stuff out you would split. Suddenly, I am the devil. 

I got tired Maria. Really tired of waiting, of hoping, of taking hook line and sinker every time you throw me some hope. Grew tired of listening to your long term ideas for both of us, only for all of this to go to hell at my slightest disagreement. I got tired of your double standards and the lack of context. I grew tired of not being understood because your thoughts and projections get in the way.

Yet, I still feel for you. How can I not? 

I’m sleepy now. Before drifting to tomorrow, this letter will be a ritualistic goodbye. Maria, I love you so much, but I need to look out for myself and start moving on.

Goodnight, and goodbye