Hey,

I need to get this off my chest because I’ve recently been hit hard by your new marriage. I just want to say I’m really truly happy for you, and really happy we both found our soulmates – people who truly love us deeply and suit us as individuals.

The girl you married, Caitlin, is beautiful. She always had a crush on you, even when we were together. My friends even think you two might have cheated, as you seemed quite dismissive whenever I felt uncomfortable about how close she got. Regardless, it’s been 4 years now, and what’s done is done. She’s never been rude to me, and I have no gripe about her at all, for all I know she’s been lovely. I know you’re the type to marry someone early and I am not, so although you two haven’t been together for long, I’m not surprised. Although sometimes I worry for her. She’s in her late teens and you were her mentor in our youth group, you’re now 24. I mean, if she’s happy, she can definitely make her own choices, but why did you rush?

My current partner is wonderful. He really understands me and we get along very well. His family works with my family better than any of my exes, even yours. His friends have also become some of my best friends, they are wonderful. My current life is truly much better without you or our old youth program. I’m still close with my group of friends from then though, but they have removed themselves from that program too.

I still think about our breakup. I feel like it’s left unfinished. We were together for 3 and 1/2 years, and you seemed embarrassed to be around me. You called me ugly when I laughed, and made me lose hope at my career progression at university (luckily I found my true calling now). My parents both noticed, and all of my friends. You pushed me to break up with you, even though I still loved you. I don’t think you did anymore. 

I couldn’t say my piece when we were there and had to write a letter to you, which you dared ask to read at home. No way, I was in tears, and I made you read it then and there. You had no reaction – like a brick wall. I feel like I deserve the respect of some form of acknowledgement of my feelings, and the ending of our long relationship, but I got nothing. You left without tears, and a mediocre smile on your face like you felt nothing. I left in tears. I broke up with you, and took the burden with me.

Considering how your wife and I were once acquaintance/friends, I knew when you both started dating. I found out you dated her about a year ago, but seemed to get really close the years before. As you quickly moved on, it hurt. This is because I no longer feel for you and love you, but I will never stop caring about you. If anything, your lack of acknowledgement after almost 4 years together shatters me more than not being with you (I couldn’t care less).

Writing this has helped me to realise the root of my frustration – the lack of acknowledgement of the significant amount of time we had together. I hope your marriage goes well – more for her sake then yours, but I want you to stand by your choices without regret, and acknowledge any impact you make on her. I would love for you to know that I am living very well, with a degree in my passion, a great job, good friends and a wonderful love life. 

Stacey, I hope someday you can at least see that, or we can just say hi to each other and catch up. That would smooth out all the wrinkles I have, for you to treat me with respect and acknowledge me one last time – if we bump into each other. Then, I will no longer need to know you if you wish.