Self-help articles!?

Self-help articles!?

Self-help articles!?

LTME-postDude. Sending me self-help articles? Is that a projection, or are you sending them to me because you are reading them for yourself? In order to try to accommodate you, I walk on eggshells tip toeing over each and every word – people should be thoughtful with words, yes, but I feel like I’m squeezing my personality through the eye of a needle just to be friends with you. I’m tired of it. I went from being open and feeling loved by you to actually feeling like you have contempt for me – I often wonder if you even liked me in the first place, or always just thought of me as ‘needing support’ … I never did need it the way you thought I did! I wanted a relationship with you to explore together, to sit and chill out together, to work on projects together, not for you to focus on the excavation of my character. I am a person who is emotionally vulnerable, which is transparent and authentic, and I’m proud of it. I don’t forget that you used the word ‘cringe’ when you read an email that I carefully crafted. I’m thinking, “this isn’t someone who wants to be friends with me, that’s someone who judges and looks down on me and wants to fix me.” Forget partners – we can’t even seem to manage basic friendship. There are clearly issues that are unresolved – you hung up and blocked me on Skype and when I asked you if you could please work on it, you actually said you have no desire to work on that and you won’t bend to please one person. That’s the most selfish, narcissistic statement anyone has ever said to me. This one person -me- obviously doesn’t matter enough, if I mattered to you, I could make a request, and you could at least attempt to meet it, and I’m not sure now if you notice that I’m doing a whole lot of bending to accommodate your needs… but your refusal to compromise sends a very clear message to me: that I don’t matter at all to you and that you could care less about our friendship. I just don’t have the energy to waste on someone who doesn’t give a damn.

I have come to realize that you project so many things onto me, and you’ve got me in a file alongside the other women who weren’t “good enough” for you, but think about it – you are 39 and never had a long-term relationship before, all the other women had “this” and “that” wrong with them – don’t you think the problem could maybe possible be at least 50% due to you? To me, it’s the Bob principle, “If Bob has a problem with everyone, the problem is probably Bob.”

So why did you want to maintain a friendship with me? You clearly think I’m broken (I’m not; again, that’s a huge projection) and you clearly don’t like how I communicate, and most of the things, aside from my painting, you don’t like, or can do better. What on earth made you want to start talking with me in the first place? I have other friends who actually like me and like how I communicate. I think I’ll work on those friendships, and as for you, I’m done.


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