January 16th, 2022      2:12 pm

R,
I’m not sure if writing this will change anything, i’m not even sure if you will read this; but if you are, don’t stop now! I have a lot to say. I’ve discovered that I use my words a lot better on paper than I do in person. so if this was my last chance to communicate with you, this is the best way. 
I need you to know, hurting you was never my intention. seeing your eyes yesterday, made my heartbreak. I sincerely apologize for being so cold to you during our relationship. I’m sorry for all the times I’ve yelled at you. I’m sorry for every time I’ve given an attitude. I’m sorry for all the false accusations. I’m sorry for holding you back.

I’ve done a lot of wrong, but what I’ve done to you, is what I most regret. all I ever wanted was to make you happy and to love you with every inch of my body and soul. I wanted to be with you forever; I counted on it. you were the only good part of my day, and now I have nothing, not even myself. I’ll never find someone as understanding, comforting, or as loving as you. the things I felt with you, are things I have never and will never feel with anyone else, and as much as it pains me to lose you right now, I know it’s only best; maybe for the both of us.

We’ve been talking about trying to stay friends until we are both ready, I really hope we can follow through with that. I want you to know you deserve nothing but the best, and that isn’t me at this time. you truly are one of a kind, and I hope one day you can forgive me for all the pain I have caused you. 
I planned on writing much more, but my heart is hurting too much to continue. who knows I may continue later. take care of yourself, you still mean the world to me. 
I’ll love you until the tides no longer turn, and even then I’ll still love you.
 – m.w