Dear Erica – if that’s really your name, I met you years ago many I should say, I remember the first time I saw your face even now, my brother had just gotten his yearbook from school. I was a freshman or softmore, he was in middle school. We were watching a movie and I said – jay that’s you future wife lol. it was a monster of a gal. he was looking at his new yearbook and points out this picture of a little blond girl with glasses and said yeah well you’re gonna marry her and laughs.

well ffwd a few years I’m buddies with a guy named Mike and one day I am with him and he has to stop by his house and weld something on his car. I see you walk by and I instantly knew it was that same girl my brother pointed out years before but now grown up. You had the cutest smile I ever saw in fact my heart skipped a beat everytime I saw your face – still does too.

The first time I actually talked to you was a year or so later I was driving my old 69 Chevy and stopped by to see mike, but he wasn’t there, but you sure were and I remember talking to you sitting on the tailgate of that old grey ghost. I liked you from the very start. it’s hard to believe where time and things take us. I go back through all the years I’ve known you and I feel like I’m reaching out only to have my hands find nothing but air now. don’t get me wrong we did connect but it was always stricken by some over lying issue – usually me not getting it in time.

I’d say I didn’t get you wanted me quickly enough and I didn’t get you were done with me soon enough. I should have seen the writing on the wall but I overlooked it – I didn’t see the signs, 15 years you gave to me. I was hoping forever, wasn’t nearly enough time but you moved on and never said goodbye. that was almost 8 years ago.

I wish you knew me now. I’m a lot calmer than I used to be , I would like to think most of my flaws I ironed out – heartbreak will do that to ya. if you spend enough time 15 years on rewind and replay did I screw it up here or was it just fate, I used to be afraid of loosing now I’m sure I already did.  I haven’t had any serious relationships since then – couldn’t manage to forget about you long enough to start something new. I know how much I love you though and I thought you loved me too – maybe you did or maybe it wasn’t enough. maybe my life was just to hard to expect anyone to walk along for too long but you did your best and for 15 years I was blessed.

I won’t touch on the bad parts because that ain’t no way to go. you’re remarried now so I won’t be getting any calls but just so you know, for me you were the one and cannot be replaced. so I guess I’ll take up songwriting maybe I’ll write a hit and have it playing in your ears. think I’ll sell it to Tim McGraw – you always liked him. that’s the best I can do. I got a million lines I could write and babe they’re all about you, or that Taylor swift gal she is something else. sometimes I listen to her songs and I swear you already played the songwriting trick on me and once again I’m to slow on the ball. how’s that go ….too slow baby joe… Lol yep that’s me.

I still got that scarf and it don’t really smell like you anymore it smells like an old sock drawer now. And my mom’s tball stories aren’t that great except the one where i line drive my first hit straight at the coach and knocked him off his feet, lol that’s the only good one. my first swing at a baseball…go figure ,

I love you babe wherever you are hope you’re as happy now as I was when I was married to you. You’re still my favorite person. love you Taylor – if that is your real name…lol oops I meant Erica, sorry Taylor or sorry Erica – damn can’t get the two straight. Too slow baby Joe. Rager out