I don’t want to not have you in my life, but today I can’t give you friend Tiff. I’ve been in love with you since 2015. I haven’t stopped loving you in all those years, not as my friend, but as my partner in life. You are embedded in my world, I don’t know how to not be with you. I’ve kept you at a distance because I’ve been too scared to express how I feel. The last few months in therapy have shown me how much I screwed up in thinking I couldn’t be happy without feeling guilty about being happy. James, you are my protector, my partner, my lover, and my best friend. You add so much value to my life. You also annoy me, you don’t express much, and I’m left with questions, but you are the man I want to be loved by, have new experiences with, adventures, and grow with. 

Today, 30 days after I expressed everything above, I’m still trying to mend my broken heart and I won’t hide that, or lie, and be supportive of your next relationship, not today. I respect that your feelings aren’t mutual and you still want us to be friends because you’ve already processed, but I haven’t. You are my first adult heartbreak and I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you how much I loved you when you needed to hear it most. I love you, I think I’ll always love you. Thank you for 6 years of great memories I’ll cherish for a lifetime.