I’d like to start out by saving you had a lot of nerve calling them Shrek and Fiona. Mostly because you do.  And now that you married her, you both are Shrek and Fiona. 

Screw you for hurting my kids. They love you and they didn’t deserve your back and forth. 

Eat a dick for becoming a man for her. Where was that motivation when I needed you. 

Choke on a Pube for answering her during dinner. 

Cry me a river with your regrets and your apologies. 

You’re a shit person. Your mom ain’t shit. I hope her breast milk is tasty, you fucking pansy.