I’m blaming myself constantly, for not being the girlfriend I should’ve been. I should have shown you the love you deserve, and I know that I’m more than capable of showing you. You are an incredible person and I feel like I’m repeatedly stabbing myself in the chest by writing this letter because I don’t want to think this is over. I love you so deeply. All the love that exists on the earth was given to me to feel for you. You showered me with affection, gave my nose a rub at night even though it’s probably the coldest part of my body. For all of that, I would go back in time just to experience it again. 

I wish I could show you how much this relationship means to me. I want to prove to you and myself that this can change. That the arguments are only a stepping stone to our amazing future together. I know how I made you feel, because you told me everyday. We are so good together, and we found each other when we needed us the most. I want us to be stronger together.

I’ve never felt a heartache like this. Ive lost my boyfriend, the love of my life and my best friend all at once. I’m grieving the loss of our relationship. I want you to know that I was never unhappy because of you. I was lonely and I made myself lonely and depended on you. That will change. I isolated myself from people, and you wanted to be around people. We just didn’t see eye to eye. Im sorry that I didn’t completely understand that and made you feel bad.

I don’t even know if this letter will make it to you. I hope I can pluck up the courage to send it. I forever want to laugh with you, dance in front of you as no one else is worthy of my dance moves. 

I just want you to know that I will do everything and anything to make this work. I know how much we unconditionally love each other and we can get past this.

I love you to the moon and back and I’m sorry I’ve not shown you that. I know I can give you the love that you deserve.