To the photographer who will never forgive me

To the photographer who will never forgive me

To the photographer who will never forgive me

I remember looking at your email 3 years ago asking how I was, and I never replied. But it’s always been on my mind.

One reply I couldn’t known how you were. Where you are in life now. How your mom is…and whether if you’re really happy right now.

On the other hand…I’d have to explain why I ghosted you. And honestly, it was simple. I was falling in love with you, and I already knew you didn’t like me the same way, at all. I knew I was just a friend(maybe an acquaintance even) who you wanted to take photos with everywhere. 

And I loved every moment, every conversation we had. I loved watching you find the best angles, and comparing photos with each other…but especially when we sat down and just talked about…life. 

But…it was hard. Being in your life but at the same time and not being in your life. My friends told me to stay away from you, and that you were just using me. You never gave me your number, and even blocked me from social media before even asking for it! My friend even found you on social media before I did and knowing I was already blocked??? At the time, I felt so….heart broken. Was I the only one feeling happy when we were exploring the neon lights? 

I’m still blocked, guess you really still hate me, and you know what, so be it. Honestly now that I’m older I kind of get it now. I was just a nobody. I still am. It’s hard to find people I can open up to.

People like you.

All my memories with you…were always a nice memory. But at the same time….painful. and also expensive. You were such a joker, but at the same time…a flower hiding it’s thorns.

A wallflower with so much potential. 

You weren’t an ex, but my ex was way easier to get over from than what I had with you.

Take care always, Anthony.


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