Dear you,

oh how I imagined a situation in which we talk about everything. I thought I needed it to close our chapter.  I thought about every word I wanted to say and every question I wanted to ask. 
So I was truly thankfull when you came up to me two weeks ago. 
But now I have even more words to say and questions to ask. If the ever talkes again I would:
– again – tell you that there is no reason to apologize.
– say sorry for being so shy and inhibited. I made things way more complicated.
– tell you that I am sorry for not reacting the right way when you told me about your nightmares. I couldn’t handle the situation.
– like to ask if you ever regretted that we never really tried.
– ask you what you ever saw in me. What would have been if we just did what you wanted to do that night?

I would tell you that I know that you’re not that kind of guy who asks for help. And I know, that if you did, I wouldn’t be your first choice. But I would be there to help you in every way possible if you ever came up to me. I am 100% serious about that offer. 
Because even though we were obviously not meant to be you will always have a special place in my heart and i will always care about you.

And finally I would make sure that you internalize the following:
This time will pass and you will feel better again.

But even though I want to tell you all that, I know that I have to wait for the next party. Because we are not able to talk to each other without drinking up the courage to do so. And that’s a fact I hate about us and one of the many reasons why we didn’t work.

All the Love 
The girl who thought she can close your chapter by talking to you, but honestly will never be able to close it.