Meri Jaan.
We always knew this would happen. Neither of us expected a relationship to blossom between two friends at uni, but my god, this has been the best time of my life. You gave me a purpose. Something to look forward to, someone to love like I’d never loved before. But we knew it had to end. We were two people from completely different backgrounds, and although we fit together like husband and wife, our families would never approve.

Part of me wishes we never started this in the first place, but if we hadn’t I never would have gotten to know you the way I do; I never would have gotten to know myself the way I do now. I want to tell myself that we’ll stay friends and keep in touch, and when we have children, they can grow up with each other, and we can go on family holidays together, but we can’t.

I can’t watch you be with another woman when I prayed for years that it would be me. I prayed for a miracle that somehow our relationship would be accepted by our parents, that there was a way around our religious differences, but that’s like waiting for a blue moon. It might be selfish but I don’t have the strength to carry on without you. I don’t want to love in a world where I can’t be yours now that I’ve had a taste of it. It’s impossible to forget everything that we went through together, you shaped me as a new person. But I can’t function without you. I can’t go a few days without calling you, and now we have to walk past each other in the same streets and I don’t know how I can walk past you without jumping into your arms.

I could go on about the future we’ll never have, but it won’t change anything. 

So I wish you the best. I hope that you can build a new life for yourself, that you find someone you can be happy with. I wish your bond with your mum only gets stronger; that your sister becomes the most badass lawyer the world has ever seen; that your dad stays healthy and happy. I pray that all your dreams come true, and you can go back to Allah knowing you led a good life. I’ll always love you my sweet boy. Thank you for everything.Yours always, 
Your little lion x