Closure

You were my first love, and I loved you deeply and almost unconditionally. Not because I was obligated to, but because it was easy, natural, and I couldn’t imagine doing anything else. I loved you because loving you was all I wanted to do. Making you happy brought me joy. But you loved me because on paper, I was your perfect woman. I was objectively better than any girl you had previously come across. But you didn’t love me the way I loved you. It wasn’t natural or easy for you. You didn’t just want to make me happy. And honestly, that probably means that it just didn’t click for you.

And that’s okay. Sometimes people just aren’t meant for each other for no logical reason. Sometimes the chemistry just doesn’t work. Because when you love someone the way I loved you, you can’t imagine not having them. You can’t imagine going on a break, even if temporarily. Because that breaks your heart. But it didn’t for you. And we both deserve better. You deserve a girl you love just because she is her. Not because she is a STEM major who volunteers and donates to charity. Not because she is a beautiful girl with a huge heart. But just because you couldn’t imagine wanting to do anything but make her happy.

And I deserve a guy who loves me because I’m me. Who I can catch staring at me randomly and thinking, “how did I get so lucky?” Who couldn’t even comprehend not being with me. So it is really okay that we didn’t work out, but please be honest next time you have to have a tough conversation with a girl, because I deserved that closure. I think you’re a great guy, but I want to find MY guy, and I want you to find your girl. So, goodbye. Thank you so much for the memories, for being my first love, and for showing me that loving someone doesn’t have to be scary but can actually add to my life. Thank you 🙂

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