I forgive you Daisha, I forgive you and I’m sorry it took me so long I’m sorry it took so much hatred and anger and despair to reach this point. I wish it was a switch I could just flip but I’m only human and it’s okay because I’m here now. I really want to let go and it feels good and it’s new and it’s scary but it’s exciting I hope you’re able to find excitement in your life and I hope you’re happy, I checked your instagram and I don’t know if that guy is your bf but I hope ur happy and even if he’s not I still just hope your happy.

I felt a wave of old emotions when I saw you instagram Public again and all the old feelings came rushing back for a moment but then a moment of clarity hit and I realized that I don’t really care anymore and things that used to make me break down in tears doesn’t even effect me anymore but I still feel a small feeling deep down and I finally accept that it’s never going away I’m learning to live with it and deal with it, memories are forever and I really valued our time together and it was special to me, you’re always going to be my first love Daisha no matter what.

It’s a little sad but it’s okay it’s allowed to be bittersweet and just I forgive you and I forgive myself and I actually forgiving you feels like a gigantic weight off my shoulders. I was so consumed in my pain and my anger for so god damn long and I just didn’t recognize myself anymore, I got broken so many times I learned how broken I truly could become but I decided to pick up my pieces.

I’m doing a lot of self reflection and god I want shit to work out with Dannelley so fucking bad I let go of you and all my resentment for you and it feels like I have so much more room in my heart for her and she’s filling it all up but I’m scared and that’s okay because bravery is being scared but doing it anyway.

I remember being a little kid spending my days watching tv with no friends I never thought I’d ever kiss a girl but you showed me so many things, you saved my life so many times and I know I saved yours so our time together wasn’t pointless because this world deserves you and it deserves me you’re not a bad person and neither am I I’m really accepting forgiveness for myself and I’m truly at peace with you and everything I almost don’t want to stop typing this haha It’s scary to go out in the world while having this forgiveness and acceptance I’ve held on for so damn long I thought I gave up on myself but I showed myself that I didn’t and the work I’ve been putting in has worked wonders and I’ve let go of the fantasy of you. i can hear it screaming outside but I’ve locked the door and it doesn’t apply to me anymore.

I forgive you and i love you forever but I finally realize that I don’t love you romantically anymore and my love doesn’t have to be romantic and I don’t have to be in this life we need to be apart in this for our own good but I know I got you in the next one daisy. I really do forgive you, you’re really a beautiful woman you’ve grown into everything I thought you’d be im happy you’re still on this earth I take back every hateful word I’ve said and thought about you and for the last time I truly forgive you Daisha

 
– from klb with love from California