I messed up

I messed up

I messed up

Where do I start. I can’t really say sorry because at this point it would be a slap to your face. How can I even explain? 
Like a mid life crisis, cold feet, forever can be scary, especially in your prime. Yea I’m am very good looking, n I was swarmed by tons of men. The internet made me realize my value, I know that sounds retarded. But settling scared me. I know I left your twice now. Probably tough because we now have a child. Honestly I love her so much n love that I will always have a piece of you. I know that sounds right selfish n it is.

I fell out of love with you not because of who you were or anything you did.

I fell out of love with you because of who I became. I became hot, sexy, I had an audience. I became self centered. Honestly I became a stuck up bitch. And I won’t lie, I like who I am, but it came with the cost of you.
The path i’m taking has no room for you, and a relationship would never work. Not with out me crossing your boundaries constantly.

I left you because I have this internal urge to seek n seduce the alpha. A man of 5 stars 5 cars 5 guitars to get the point.  N I cannot fight this urge off. It’s like a constant adrenalin rush having the internet drool over me. And when I see you, I see just a basic guy. 

I loved our time together, but forever was not possible. I know I’ll regret it when I’m old, but at that point who cares. I’ll be old n nothing will matter anyways. 

But if you think there’s no guilt, you’d would be wrong. I think about that one time we were on the hill at the lake staring at the stars. N how connected I felt to you. 

Ugh this comment is like the worst apology ever. I’m not good at this

All I want you to know is, you can do better than me too.


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