Kaylee,

I’ll keep it short and sweet. I had to write something because the way we separated was not sitting right and we both had some fault in it whether communicating on your end or acting childish on my end. But I couldn’t just let that be it without being able to say something.
All men want to feel respected and desired. This was my first relationship in 7 or 8 years. I really wasn’t looking for one but when I saw how you treated me and how you were living, your affection and how much i felt desired… I thought to myself that you were nothing like what the peanut gallery in my ear tried to portray you as. I saw you as a really good girl who stayed out the mix and that was attractive. It was different for me and I found attraction beyond the physical beauty that first had me captivated! I decided to cut any entanglements or situations out of the picture, reject any new attempts at me and dive all the way in with you. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t once dream of a future with you for real. How you treated me when we were together, I truly treasured… You’re a great woman with even more potential! I felt a lot of glimpses from you of how I want to be treated by the woman I lock in forever with. Yes, it wasn’t ideal, Yes, I became lazy in my routine, Yes, I saw early red flags that I disregarded, Yes, I must have lacked somewhere that wasn’t brought to my attention, Yes, I knew you were a Gemini lol, Yes, we may not have been compatible.  I knew all this and still I thought that in time after the honeymoon phase we could iron out and work out the details and find a common goal to work towards. 

Definetly learned from you in a way I could never have foreshadowed and truly am grateful for that insight.

Hope I can be forgiven for the childish gestures and comments, I see now I just needed time to process my emotions. You said early on “I may be a Gemini, but I’m a r.n. first.” So what hurt most is being blindsided by someone who I considered my best friend, who I expected to tell me and be comfortable telling me anything especially how she feels. Now, I love you and I couldn’t be mad at you for whatever happened. I was confused and angry and didn’t know what to think at the moment, especially because I didn’t see it coming at all. Then, you had already detached and I couldn’t fathom at that moment being just friends with you because I was still wrapping my head around understanding how and why it transpired the way it did. In doing so I pushed you away and now that I’m ready to be friends… you’re gone….         
I think Nipsey said “No pain worse than realizing the one you’re in love with was sent to teach you a lesson”
My favorite memory in our short time with each other would have to be either “Haha, I Win!” running red lights, driving your car drunk through old town lol.. Orrr you taking the time to come out and look at the shooting stars with me, definitely won’t forget that. I do miss you and your hugs for sure! I am grateful for and I appreciate the time we spent together. Hope to someday go out to brunch dates or do Mardi Gras or Greece with you one year or even just Key and Peele it one time. Until then take care and thanks for listening or well reading this if you decide to. Not an ill or hateful thought in my mind, hope that’s mutual. Whether it’s thrown away or you read it or I’m clowned for it, writing this made me feel better. Don’t trip, don’t worry… this will be my last point of contact

Always Your Luvbug,
Matthew

P.S. -(I would love nothing more than to see you happy and fulfilled! If you have found someone new by the time you get this and you’re happy then i’m genuinely and honestly glad. But if he find out and feel some type of way about me writing you then tell him i said to suck a dick.)

P.S.S.- theres something in this envelope that belongs to you.