Every moment of every day

Every moment of every day

Every moment of every day


Dear Alan,

Who would have thought that meeting you would change my life so completely? How did you manage to do that? I was at my lowest and you were there to pick me up. And you held me. and You held me every time I asked for it, every time I needed it. I didn’t expect that. I never hoped for it. Never thought I deserved it. But you would hold me and tell me I was worth it.

To have such love and care shown to me. That was beyond my imagining. But it became real. You became real. And then you became everything. When I wake in the morning my first thought is of you. I hear your voice calling to me. You call my name so gently and I believe you that I exist and am real.

I think of you all day. each moment I’m not working or having to think about anything I think of you. I remember you holding me. I remember how that felt. I used to count down the hours until I would see you again – and have you hold me again – and have you care for me again.

But that time is over now. There are not enough hours to count. I’m never seeing you again. We have ended – there is no going back.

I miss you so much. I love you so much.


  1. Juan 9 months ago


  2. madlen 6 months ago

    it’s done. everything is bullshit. and i know it. but time is gone. and you move on. goodluck dear.

  3. Anne 4 months ago

    I literally started to cry

  4. Alex 3 months ago

    That was strong and I can relate to the letter you wrote

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