Dear you,
7th May 2017, the last kiss you gave as if you were off to war. My heart humbled in joy within the moment but it sparked as you left as I await your next kiss – shouldn’t have.

17th May 2017, you said your goodbye halfway across the country over problems that were resolving but you instigated the fights since you had ANOTHER girl. I won’t define her as a woman because no woman puts their self respect on the floor for a man in a relationship of 10 months.

Lies and deceit yet I held onto your promise “Never let go even when its hard.” until the very end. You made it and end when all I wanted was an ongoing love life with the man I LOVED.

You betrayed me 3 months into our relationship. You controlled my dressing, pushed me to feel bad about my achievements only because you had non and made me leave and bundle myself in a corner to make yourself seem better than anyone since you looked at me as competition.

Each step I took during my inauguration of my excellence in academics, all I thought was how thankful I was to have a man as strong as you at my side. Never did I expected you to twist your tongue onto my paper saying things like “How could you be doing well when I failed?” and “At the end of the day, I’ll be the fool looking at you achieving your dean’s list or president’s list while I sit and just mope.”

You never deserved me. I didn’t deserve you. You changed my behaviour from being someone of trust and understanding to a frantic girl checking your phone 24/7. I didn’t need that. You did that.

Now you’re with a girl that you called a slut and a fuck up. Called her racial slurs along with her friends. Now you’re hanging out with her, kissing her, posting pictures of her and loving her a different way than you ever did for me.
I know I fucked up, but it wasn’t as much as you did. I hit you when you mentally abused me and oppressed me. I asked of one thing and one thing only, “Stay away from her” and you said “She’s nothing. We ain’t talking.”. It always starts that way doesn’t it?

Now she’s in a bedroom, with you by her side. Talking shit about me when she stayed a side chick by you for 6 months.

Hanging out with my ex bestfriends, whom I defended you from. You even saw the messages yet you fell for their lies. They offended your culture and religion. I stayed and defended while ending a 4 year relationship with them. Do I regret defending you? Yes. Do I regret losing them as friends? No, because I don’t need people of such hypocrisy in my life but I understand why you’d be around them. They’re build from the ground up of being cheaters and liars. One even cheated for 3 years in a 4 year relationship with her current flame who’s now your bestfriend once again.

I’ve never hated anyone in my life but you are the exception. Giving up my heart, pride and ego all for you. Even staying nights in the hospital when no one was there for you. Travelling back and forth while focusing on my classes, I did it all for you but you did non for me. You left me at 3 girls. How ruthless could you be?

Your current flame is useless. She’s the definition of someone who’d ruin you. You’re impressionable hence you took her advice of hacking into my social media accounts and tried to use it against me. Law’s on my side. You became a psychotic with that psycho girl.

Made me think, you deserve her as she may be your Karma.

I know in my heart I still love you but I could never go back nor forgive you. You broke my heart with trust and you ruined me further by giving me reasons to protect myself from YOU. You neither took care of me nor protected me. You allowed a man to molest me whiles you walk around the thought of only going to your medical check up. For months I laid in bed afraid of someone’s touch. Dreams upon dreams haunting me yet I never told you since I couldn’t trust your protection.

You laid with me in bed. You told me I was someone still worth while. Someone still best suited to be your wife but that will never happen even if time changes us. I could never go back to a lesson when I deserved a blessing.

I wish you the best with her and I hope you succeed in life.
You once held my heart but now, I hold it on my own.
It’s broken and bruised but I don’t need you.

Love,
me
Your ex girlfriend that loved you genuinely.