An honest look at what went wrong:
I couldn’t give you your independence. I think it had come between us that you wanted to be the strong independent women you are, and I wanted you too big up my ego by letting me pay for everything. It had got to the point that you constantly mentioned that you “owed” me money and to me it was never like that.
I think we’d stopped having a lot of fun. There where hints here and there.. water fights, cinema trips, walks, but we were both in dark places.. and we were using each other for comfort. I thank you so much for the help you gave me, and I hope you feel the same way.. but some battles have to be fought alone.. I had to get over depression and anxiety myself.
Sex. Remember I used to pour honey on you? We’d have sex outdoors, blindfolds, my red hand ties, shower sex, striptease, dirty texts, sneak off at parties.. sex in that way had kind of fallen away.. for some reason it’s taken losing that completely to get a passion for it back.
I miss you, every day. I’m a new man, I enjoy who I am. So this is it, my closure on what has been, and I can’t wait for what’s next. We’ve grown up together.. from 14/15 too 21 we went through a whole load of shit. You were a complete blessing, and I fell so hard for you. But the trials of adolescence broke us. I hope I see you in the future, I’m not sure how yet. So we start talking one day and just click as the adults we’ve become? Are we thrown into a passionate reunion and spend the rest of our lives together? Or do I see you out in the street with your new man and smile, knowing that your happy? For now.. this is my chapter, keep hitting the gym, keep working hard, be myself.. cause let’s be honest.. I’m pretty damn good, I just forgot that.. the rest is up to you. Ti amo e, thanks x