Hello there,

How funny that yesterday I saw a shirt that says “I <3 YM". I laughed when I saw it but a tiny voice in my head said FY. After all this time that I tried to forget you, life has its way of reminding me of you. Crazy, really. Anyway, how are you? I know, I know.. It's been a while. I have never seen you for almost a year. Some of my friends saw you somewhere and told me about those instances, expecting some reaction from me I guess. I would always just say 'really'. That's it. That's all I tell them because I don't want any more drama. I don't want to publicize how I really feel. You know how I am. I am a very private person. I am very careful in sharing what I feel to other people. What they see is someone who have completely moved on already. However, little they know, I still check your playlist from time to time like an idiot I am. Too much for being so curious and nosy. I would analyze the songs you add and rationalize your motives behind adding them (other than, of course, just really liking the song). When you add sad, longing love songs, I would be "oh he's still sad about what happened". I know, so pathetic, right? Then you would add happy songs about love and I will be "okaaaay, he's already happy with a new love". Just like that. I don't feel any pain about it. I think I am just really curious. It's like I'm making it my pastime to check your songs and try to make sense of them. I am having fun doing it too. I feel guilty about it. I wonder what you would do, if and when we accidentally bump into each other. Last time I talked to you, you looked so weird, you smiled a lot when there was nothing to smile about. I checked myself in the mirror after that, thinking maybe I turned into a clown or something funny. Last time we talked you told me you were not mad at me. You confused me. We were both confused I guess. The way things happened. Oh, getting back to that 'what you would do if we bump into each other', I don't know how I will act either. I am not angry, bitter, sad, or regretful about everything. It made me realize a lot of things about myself, love, and you... Life lessons that can only be learned through joys and pain. I know I will never forget you. I should learn to stop checking your playlist though. I am really sorry about that. I wish you well. You are smart and ambitious, I know you will go far in life. Stay strong! 🙂 Cheers, Tattoo