Four years later and I still think about you every day. Even in my 2 year relationship, I would think about you every single day, it felt wrong and I knew I shouldn’t but I could not help it. I don’t believe I am obsessed but I can’t describe exactly what I feel; perhaps it is because you are my first love, my first everything, that I can’t forget you but I wish I could. I suppose I didn’t make it easier on myself by seeing you again and being with you again. I don’t like to think it was a mistake because I enjoyed every single second of it even when I knew the end result would be painful and it truly has been.

I feel like I am back in you car again 4 years ago with you breaking up with and me begging for you to stay but I will never beg again. So instead I just suffer in silence. I just wish you would suffer and feel what I feel, the longing I feel for you but I don’t think you do. I know you do still have feelings for me to some degree but then why can’t you act on them? You rather dangle me along on a string and to be honest, I allow myself and thats my fault. But I just don’t know how to let go, I don’t know how to move on. How do I move on?