I’m still contemplating if I should call you or not but  I know for a fact I’ll end up regretting it in the long run so I’ll save myself the embarrassment. Would you even pick up? That’s what makes me curious. Would you be mad that I called? Or come across hostile towards me? I guess it’s better than not hearing your voice at all. That’s all I want – to hear your voice once last time. It’s better than this deafening silence and the constant memories of us replaying my mind from time to time. I wish I could say all of this to you in person or over the phone but that would do more bad than good. I’m the last person you’d want to speak to. 

You manage to always cross my mind no matter how hard I try not to think of you. I’ve been trying really hard to take these past few months to focus on myself and heal but here I am, thinking of you. So thanks for that – making this whole “getting over the breakup” process so much harder. 
I can’t help but think of the little things when it came to us. If your eyebrows do that scrunchy thing when you focus too hard. I wonder how you’re doing with boxing, if you’ve had your first fight yet. 
If everytime you have a glass of wine you think of us sitting in your kitchen talking and giggling about god knows what, whilst your brother makes his occasional trip to the fridge. 

I’ve noticed that I can’t go a glass of wine without thinking or be reminded of you. There’s something about it that gives me comfort – that although you’re no longer in my life, I get to have a little taste of a love that we once shared.

So I won’t call you, I won’t disturb your peace. But I hope you’re well and taking care of yourself.