Dear Isaiah,

I know it’s not even been a full week, but I can’t get you off my mind. I just want to let you know that you were a once in a lifetime experience and the love we had was surreal. You were my everything, you showed me the light on dark days and made me feel better when i would overthink the most littlest things, you overall made me feel like the most happiest girl ever. I miss your voice, your laugh, the way you would smile. I still love you, and I honestly don’t think nothings going to change that. Even if we are in no contact, just know i’m always going to be here for you even as a friend.

I know mental health is no joke, depression is no joke. And I apologize i can’t do much to help with most of your problems, because i believe that is something we have to work through on our own sometimes. I just wish, I wish we could have tried but i know it won’t be good on your part because i know balancing out your mental along with a job, school and a relationship wouldn’t help you in the long run. I know you will become the best man there is for someone, if it’s not me in the end I just wish you happiness with someone and hope they will take care of my sweet and caring boy. 

If there is no second try, I’ll always be grateful for our first try. If the time is right, and we do end up together, i hope we get to make the connection stronger than it was before. I daydream about it, and I can see us being together and in person being a healthy couple with nothing stopping us in our way to a happy road of making more memories. Mutual breakups are the complete worst, because like you asked and said that you don’t want to change how we’ve been spending time together but I know that would possibly end up in flames and ruin both of our journeys in healing. But I’m still going to be your best friend, and your lover somewhere in a different universe.I just want to wish you well, please be better for yourself first before you can open your heart again. I believe in you so much, I’ll always be here for you from afar.

Currently on my own journey and I’ll be completely honest, I miss you badly. So so…. much. I thought I’d get over what had happened so easily but I just cannot. It hurts me every other minute to think of what could have happened. I will always hold a special place for you in my heart. I don’t know how long i’ll be waiting but i know it’s better not to wait so long, though you’ll be in the back of mind everyday and i’ll think of you always. I’m such a slave to hope, I’m always hoping we can get back together immediately but the time just isn’t right. You said our story isn’t over and I just hope that is true. So i guess at the start of this new year, we can finish this chapter up, and hopefully the story will continue when the pen has been picked up and is written with faith and love. Because that’s just what i want for us, that’s what you would probably want but we both know it’s not the time. Get better soon, I love you and wish for the best my handsome boy.

Cheering you on.
Love, Shianne.