It’s been nine years. Nine whole years since we said goodbye at the airport. 9 whole years since you ripped my heart out and crushed it. One hundred eight months since you think I’ll never live up to your standards. So instead of telling you “I hate you” (that’s too harsh) or “I miss you” (that’s too safe, plus I’ll be lying if I did say that) or “I hope you’re dead” (that’s just plain ol’ cruel), I’m going to say this:
Thank you.
Thank you for wasting 3 years of my life because now, you were just a lesson I needed to learn about myself and love. Love isn’t about how great the sex is or how much money we spent on each other. It’s truly caring about that person. It’s accepting that person, warts and all. And while sex is always great, no one should ever tell the person they “loved” to promise to not get pregnant shortly before orgasm! No one.
Thank you for verbally abusing me about my ethnicity, about my family, about my weight, and about my own character. All it did is make me stronger, someone who refuses to take any crap from anyone.
Thank you for constantly pushing me to do things I wasn’t comfortable of doing. Now I know that if anyone puts me on an uncomfortable spot, I easily cut them out of my life.
Thank you for bragging about how you’re getting married 9 months after you dumped me. I hope you’re a much more different man now than in 2007. Trust me, I hoped you really grew up. All I know is I didn’t dodged a bullet. I dodged a missle!
Most of all, thank you for breaking my heart. I would’ve never moved away two states away. I would’ve never have this amazing job that I still have to this day. Most of all, I would’ve never met a wonderful man four years later. A man that treats me with love and respect, no matter where I came from, how much I weigh, or the color of my skin. He may be what you would call a “geek”, but he is a bigger man you will ever be. I’m proud to call him my husband and the father of our soon-to-be child.
So RSH, where you are, take note of this: I’m still here. I’m still alive. And I’m happy. And you? You’re nothing more than just a snail that I’m more than happy to pour plenty of salt on. Every grain of salt I pour on to you is a thank you for giving me a the happiest ending possible: a life without you!
2 Comments
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I can relate so much ! My ex was the same (if not worse). Thank you for a great letter !
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Thank you. I found out recently that he’ll probably never read it because he’s in jail for at least 20 years for rape.
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