Goodbye

LTME postI know for you it was over a long time ago but I wasn’t able to move on. I met you 2 years ago on this day and we have broken up for so long . I didn’t know what I wanted when we first started seeing each other and I didn’t know a lot of things.

Even though I never said it, I dreamed about a future with you. I didn’t know my time with you will come to an end. Everything I said I wanted to do with you after our first break-up, I didn’t get to do. I clung to you so tightly after we got back together because deep down I was always afraid you’d leave again and you did. I’ve done everything I can after the break-up to be with you and I couldn’t change your mind. Title or no title, I followed my heart. I didn’t tell you I lost my job due to the break-up, I was too sad and I couldn’t work properly. I missed you everyday yet I couldn’t be with you.

I always felt at ease in your arms at night and having you spooned me was the best thing. I still wake up in the middle of the night looking for you but I can’t have you anymore. You said and did a lot of harsh things after the break-up but I forgave you. I hope you’d forgive me for whatever happened as well.

We were never on the same page, and your feelings for me never got to where my feelings were. I fell for you a bit too late and you left a bit too early. I can’t be friends with you and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to. I miss you like crazy but seeing you treat me like a friend hurt more. I’m leaving because there’s too much memory here for me. I’d walk by a cute restaurant and thinking it’d be great if we can have dinner here. I’d walk along the river thinking about how great it’d be if we can run together again. I’m strong when it comes to other things but not when it comes to you.

I don’t know when I’ll be able to get out of this but it’s time for me to start trying. As of now, I still love you but I’m saying goodbye, my first love.

1 Comment

  1. Sean 5 years ago

    Is this Julia? …cause if it is this is Sean and I still love you!

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.