I don’t understand why you did this to me. You did this to your family. You did this to yourself. It’s hard to say that you did this because I never expected this out of you. You never told me how you felt about your life even though you reached to me. I never realized that it was a cry for help. I though it was a cheap antic to win me back because I was with someone else. But it was true and hit me harder than a bus. I miss you and regret how many times I didn’t tell you I loved you and that I wanted you back. I only dated him to make you jealous. But you took it to heart. I want to think that you are in a better place that your thoughts do not haunt you anymore. I hope that you remember that I love you and that I never stopped loving you. You meant the world to me and I should have told you. I should have told you. Now I have to deal with the what ifs that constantly haunt me and the repeating dreams of your death. You don’t understand what it’s like to go to sleep every night and hope that you dream of someone who is no longer here on this earth. I just want you to know that I think of you every day and that you haven’t faded away from my memory and I don’t intend on it fading ever. I love you forever and ever. Thank you for accepting every part of me and never giving up on me even though I feel like I gave up on you.
-Sincerely,
Broken-hearted