I don’t even know where to begin because it’s all so fresh. We been together for three years + and I have gotten to know your moods and your actions. We have went back and forth a few times over the course of our relationship, and every time just got a little harder.
Trying to understand why I felt so much need to have you in my life, because when we broke up and especially this time, I felt my whole world came crashing down, I wanted to make you understand what you were letting go, make you feel the hurt that I felt and the desire to still be with me. But I know I can’t change you, I know you are who you are, and though you didn’t intentionally mean to hurt me, it still hurt bad none the less knowing we have to have no contact to move on.
I wasn’t ready to move on, and I don’t know when I will be, but for now, I realized I became co-dependent on you, that I would do anything to hold on to our relationship, that my mood or happiness was dependent on how you were reacting or feeling , that I was so focused on pleasing you that I sacrificed my own needs, and that is not healthy for either of us.
At first I felt like I hated you, then as time has went, I started remembering all the little things and wonderful things we shared, but I also had to force myself to remind me of the difficult times and some of your mood swings and how it made me feel.
In order for me to move on, I wanted to write this, I wanted you to know I forgive you, I forgive you of they way you broke up with me, I forgive you for the times you hurt me and brushed me aside and I forgive you for not loving me as I had loved you.
I don’t hate you and I will always love you and I pray for only good things for you!