I believe there has be a lot of things left unsaid from the months leading up to the break up till now. It’s taken me a while to figure out how to word these things in a way that I feel that it will get the point across.
First of all. FUCK YOU! Fuck you for degrading me time after time. Fuck you for not appreciating everything I did for you and for not appreciating how hard I tried to be perfect and to make sure you were happy even though it meant losing myself and my happiness. Fuck you and all the other girls you went after during our time spent together. Fuck you for never complimenting me.
Second of all, I will partially blame you for making me fall into depression. But I also want to thank you for all this. I did need counselling to get to this point and to fully understand that even though I may have felt weak and completely insane, I was strong enough to remove myself from our toxic relationship.
So thank you for teaching me that most people will walk all over you and use you until you no longer fulfill their needs. Thank you for getting me to hit rock bottom at such an early age. Thank you for making me so blind that I thought staying in a place that no longer suited my needs and no longer made me truly happy was a good idea all because of a boy who I thought “loved me”. Thank you for teaching me my happiness is more important than anyone else’s happiness. Thank you for showing me that people who see no wrong or harm with their actions will never change.
Also wanted to thank you for all the amazing memories we did make together when we great. Thank you for take me out of my “pretty girl” comfort zone and reintroducing me to dirt and the farm life you love. Thank you for letting me be a part of your journey in life. Thank you for being there when I did need you, when I was sick, or my car got stuck.
Thank you for making me wait 3 years to move out of this town. This move is going to be huge and I know I’m going to love it that much more and I know the freedom is going to taste that much sweeter.
Third, I still truly don’t understand what I ever did that made you feel the need to seek out other girls. Another think I will never understand is how you could look me in the eyes for 4 and half years and say I love you, only to turn around and say degrading things about me to other people. It will be something the completely blows my mind for a long time. It also something I will never be able to do to you. I also hope you’re able to keep the secrets we have between us to yourself.
Lastly, just remember, just because you got the girl doesn’t mean you can stop act like you’re trying to win her over. Continue to date her and care for her and chase her. I hope you can learn this and I hope it all works out for you.
We might have started out great for each other but you gave up on trying and I wore myself down fighting for it and by the end all we were good was fucking.
Even though we are no longer friends or even acquaintances I truly hope you’re extremely happy with your life, and if
you aren’t I really hope you find a way to get there. Just know a part of me will always care for you and will always be hoping you’re doing great in life