I love you. You never found yourself attractive and because you never did I didn’t either. You were my best friend. The one person I needed more than I needed anyone else. I still remember how you seriously told my parents I looked like a “down syndrome baby,” and then put that same baby picture on your fridge. That one anecdote describes our relationship and the source of why I hated you and loved you at the same time. You didn’t know how to express emotions openly and honestly or how to be vulnerable with me. Always, I had to be put in my place, which was beneath you.
Mostly I stayed because I thought if I stayed it would make you happy. So, I gave up my pride, I gave up my self-respect, and I never told you the things you needed to hear from me. Sorry I was such a shitty person. You’ll be just fine, and I’ll have a bit more pride and work a little harder to once more be the best at everything I try to do.