Wanted to make you happy

Wanted to make you happy

Wanted to make you happy

LTME-postGood Morning, Marina
Where to start is the beginning when we first meet. The night in the meeting me looking at the back of your curly blond hair and the way you moved your right hand with the red nail polish remind me of Michelle Pfeiffer. You turned around a I saw your eyes and heard myself asking you for a cuppa coffee I swear to God didn’t even realize I was the one asking.
The first time at coffee at Radio City sitting on the couch looking into your eyes I want to marry you. Couple weeks later holding you and telling you in your ear I’d meet you three times in my life and you said the third was a charm. The first month felt like I was heaven when you call my head would be calm and text would flip my heart, never felt this about a woman in my life.
The things I’d tell you after you shared about your life I wanted be perfect guy and I was trying so hard to make it right. Told you had won the lottery and hope you know that was you. My life was simple and at 54 just burned out helping everyone and dealing with conservatorship and dealing with my elderly parents, just had forgotten to have some fun. The trip to Caroline with you was my first vacation long time. The first afternoon I was a sleep and I woke up in the room looking down and saw this woman walking back from the beach with long black coat, felt like a dream. That attraction was so strong and few minutes later the door open and it was you. When we got back started trying figure out how to make it work and didn’t realize I was loosing the moments together and getting frustrated with my work schedule and the things in my life started to stack up on me with just trying to do to much also trying enlarge my life.
Told you end of the year I’d marry you and that was the truth, still to this day I’d do it with out no hesitation. Even as I write this I find that really bizarre because I’m so cautious so careful to make sure everything I do so right however today I don’t really care about being right or wrong anymore I just not that important.
After your business trip, my reaction was on pure emotions the last couple times we text each other, I wasn’t sleeping. The issue was with me not you for I was dealing with feeling that didn’t understand or hadn’t dealt with in correct way. Two months later I’ve got answers to question I did know how ask when we were together. We are apart and I lost my step father and you your Bother, I wish I could have been there for you. Pray you will know some day how much you’ve meet to me and how much you’ve change my life. I’m working through stuff with therapist and clearly see insight to what’s working in my life and dealing with the problems that need to be changed in my life. I pray for you to be happy and you to find the right man for your life, this is painful however part of letting go for me. Wish the things we talked about and the plan in my heart would have come true, life brings people into our lives for a purpose to learn.
I’ve learned great deal these past two months, relationship are so much how life starts and ends. We’re born and breath and then pass away, simple for me to see that nothing is for ever in life and the true gift in to see, feel, hear and share the moment.
My hope is one day you will understand that I love you that will not change and yes I want you back in his life, this will be Gods time not mine.
I know when I’m looking over my life when my time comes you will be the first I’ll remember for you were right the third time is the charm, I know what it feels like to love a woman. My own wish for you is to be truly happy in life for I know one day you will see my heart was true.
Remember Leo I may not be apart of your life now, I’m always praying for you to be happy.
Love Always, Craig

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