What ifs…

What ifs…

What ifs…

Dear Hally,

I miss you every day and I know it’s completely stupid. How can I really call you my ex when you never gave me a chance? We loved each other from a far, yet you blamed me for all our problems. You don’t even care about me anymore, and ignore any attempts to get in touch with you. I can’t blame you, I know I annoyed you when we were together but it’s still so hard for me to let you go as it was then too.

It breaks my heart that I was never enough for you. Someone always came first and that’s where we went wrong. You claimed you loved me and cared about me and wanted to be with me but I was never your priority. Maybe moving on was a mistake, Karl was never right for me but I used him to get over you. And although it helped I’m far from cured. I still miss you. I’m still curious how we would be together. I hate that I’m just someone you used to know now. Once upon a time you wrote me poems filled with love and now you can’t even find the time to reply to a friendly email. In my dreams you come and tell me you don’t reply because it will hurt too much but I know thats just wishful thinking. Fuck J I just wanted one cuddle, one kiss, one night of passion. I know that’s stupid and asking for trouble because if I can’t let go of you now how I could then? I guess im hoping that one night with you and I wouldn’t need to let you go because erverthing would fit into place.

So, conclusion… JH, 23 years old, from Durham UK, I miss you my first love. And I wish you well x


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