Lost and empty

Lost and empty

Lost and empty

Dear love,

So here we are having this argument continuing to go in and out with all these childish games. I’m writing you this letter because you refuse to answer my calls or text. But when I see you you two word talk to me and then tell me you are mad at me but you don’t remember why. Then you continue to play games with my head and tell me you will text me later on that day. But I know you won’t! Because if you wanted to you would have talked to me right then and there. Could it have been that party could it have been that day? I will probably never know because you refuse to open up to me. But isn’t it funny that I didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t take any one home I didn’t sleep with anyone but yes I was very drunk. But when you are drunk you can hook up.

With everyone and do whatever it is you please and still come to me at night and tell me what happens when your drunk doesn’t have anything to do with me? But here I am upset crying and heart broken while you do what ever it is you do. Instead of

Letting things slide maybe I should have told you how I really felt about you. That I

Actually do love you. That I would do anything for you at any moment in time. But why didn’t i? Because I knew you didn’t feel the same. What we’ve become wasn’t supposed to be l. What I feel isn’t supposed to hurt. And here I am at 12:24 in the morning still waiting and hoping to hear from you. I take this letter as my final goodbye. Even though u will never read it. But I will never be able to tell you how I feel because you just honestly do not care. You do not hurt because I do not matter. It’s that 90 to 10 type of relationship where I am just hopeful and you just hand a piece of carrot on a string and lead me around like a jackass . Now everyday I’m cursed to see your face and remember the smiles you once gave me and the rush I wish I still had. But here I am heartbroken and all I wanted to wish I could say, is I’m sorry and I wish we can go back to the way we were. Depressed lonely and crying but everyday I have to put my mask on to wear a smile on my face and walk around like. Puppet because the true me can’t be if the true me doesn’t tell you how much you are hurting me. And this is not that it’ll get better type of things because there is no closure. So ok hoping this

Letter will help me cope. This

Letter I wish to tell you. But I can’t even write it because the feelings of hurt I have cannot be transcribed can’t not to told. These feelings of hurt will only turn to hate which will probably make me love you more. This

Letter is to you my love. My babe my

Magician my laughs and my hugs. This letter is to the ghost that was once in my life and now

Gone out of the blue. I’m not sure how long I will cry over you but I am sure that I wouldn’t trade any of our past moments just to get rid of all this pain. You are my I never really had. My letter to you. I can’t even write. I’d rather hold all my pain and suffering in then let u know how much it hurts. My love/ I love you and I’ll miss you. Just please don’t pretend things are okay and still say hi to

Me when you see me. Because I won’t let u see that tear that falls from my eye when my heart aches and my chest stops breathing because of the smile on your face. My smile is gone. My

Magician you pulled the ultimate trick- and you didn’t even get hurt. My letter to you will never exist but I wish I would have told you ….


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